Rerouted

Hey everyone, thanks for your patience as my blog has transitioned. You can check out my new blog here. I'm writing for Juice magazine now, so you can also read new stories online too. Thanks for reading, and see you at my new juicy locale.

I Don't Like Cities, But I Like Björk*

*Allusion to Madonna's lyric-writing wonder: "I don't like cities, but I like New York."

Björk's newest album, Volta, is set to come out on May 7th. It's said to be quite different than her last album, Medúlla, which for most, was really hard to swallow. It featured a strong focus on the voice (including both a capella and tape overs), and perhaps more notably, a lack of the lush instrumentation she is known for. I saw her live on her Medúlla tour, and it was the most psychedelic concert I have ever attended except for a Freshman Department Recital a few years back.

Vulta, however, is said to be quite different and will feature outside musicians including Timbaland. But, from the looks of this album cover, it reminds me more of her "I Miss You" video than anything else...

Dye A Log

YOU: Bad Girl, Philosophia. You've been M.I.A. for TOO LONG. We should call you "PhilosophM.I.A.".

ME: Wait! But I've been really busy!

YOU: How so?

ME: Well, I teach lots of piano students, and I am a Music Critic now for the Democrat & Chronicle!

YOU: Well, aren't you just Miss "Fancy Pants".

ME: Not really. I need new jeans.

YOU: Well, you should have told us and said something.

ME: You're right, I should've. I'm sorry.

I Heart Stacy and Clinton

Top 10 Reasons I Watch TLC's What Not To Wear :

10. See title.

9. Stacy and Clinton taught me how to create a waistline.

8. I enjoy hearing Stacy say "friggin' fraggin' fabulous".

7. I like it when Stacy says "bonjour" phonetically. Heck, I even like it when she says "fermez la bouche" phonetically, too.

6. Even though I know it's coming, I always act surprised when Carmindy sweeps a light highlight color under the guest's eyebrows to make their eyes appear bigger and brighter.

5. I like it when Nick makes people get their hair cut really short, even if they're crying.

4. After I watch the show, I read Stacy and Clinton's bios online and see how my life can fit into to theirs so we can all be really good friends. And, I'm creepy.

3. I get better at the online quizzes when I watch the show more.

2. I enjoy it when Clinton references the "ice cream cone effect" when he sees people wearing tapered pants.

1. I now recognize that straight-leg jeans and pointy shoes that hurt are really what's important in life.

Whack

Yes, according to Whitney Houston, "crack is whack".

You know what else is whack? I was at the laundromat this week, casually waiting for my five loads of laundry to dry in two dryers -- a tragic mistake. They took twice as long to dry off, but it gave me plenty of time to read and experience life in slow and boring motion.

While I was sitting there, a nice young man walked up to me, and held up a very small bag of white powder that he found in his dryer.

"I think it's crack", he said.

"Oh my", I raised my eyebrows.

I've never seen crack, but I went along with it. He walked the bag up store owner, and she told him that she'd "take care of it". I'm still wondering if it ever made it to the police...

Pure Beech = Pure Love

So, I've discovered these new bed sheets called Pure Beech, and all I ever think about now is sleep. These sheets snuggle you right on back; I promise. And, I'm not paid to endorse. I just firmly believe in their goodness. They're 100% natural and made of a material called "modal", derived from beech trees. So, they're allergen free, and they're incredibly soft. You won't be disappointed. Above is a picture of my sheets; the color is "pewter". Careful - you can't jump into them through the computer screen!

Ewww

So, today on the way home from the grocery store, I passed by a hair salon called "Follicles". To me, that just doesn't sound quite right; it actually sounds quite uninviting. I'd put that in the rankings with "Dan's Druff Barbor Shop", if ever it existed.