25 October 2006

I Heart Stacy and Clinton

Top 10 Reasons I Watch TLC's What Not To Wear :

10. See title.

9. Stacy and Clinton taught me how to create a waistline.

8. I enjoy hearing Stacy say "friggin' fraggin' fabulous".

7. I like it when Stacy says "bonjour" phonetically. Heck, I even like it when she says "fermez la bouche" phonetically, too.

6. Even though I know it's coming, I always act surprised when Carmindy sweeps a light highlight color under the guest's eyebrows to make their eyes appear bigger and brighter.

5. I like it when Nick makes people get their hair cut really short, even if they're crying.

4. After I watch the show, I read Stacy and Clinton's bios online and see how my life can fit into to theirs so we can all be really good friends. And, I'm creepy.

3. I get better at the online quizzes when I watch the show more.

2. I enjoy it when Clinton references the "ice cream cone effect" when he sees people wearing tapered pants.

1. I now recognize that straight-leg jeans and pointy shoes that hurt are really what's important in life.

04 October 2006


Yes, according to Whitney Houston, "crack is whack".

You know what else is whack? I was at the laundromat this week, casually waiting for my five loads of laundry to dry in two dryers -- a tragic mistake. They took twice as long to dry off, but it gave me plenty of time to read and experience life in slow and boring motion.

While I was sitting there, a nice young man walked up to me, and held up a very small bag of white powder that he found in his dryer.

"I think it's crack", he said.

"Oh my", I raised my eyebrows.

I've never seen crack, but I went along with it. He walked the bag up store owner, and she told him that she'd "take care of it". I'm still wondering if it ever made it to the police...

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